so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
