it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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