i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize