i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
