My sheets look like a crime scene.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
