two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
