You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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