i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
