Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Text me some of your sweat
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
