Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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