Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
