spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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