oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
