giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
