I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
