Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
