You're so nebulous sometimes
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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