I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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