I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just had sex on a roof
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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