As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
