went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
