$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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