its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so let's talk penis.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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