that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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