That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
