stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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