he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize