the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
