now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Do vagina's smell?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
