I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
