I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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