Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
