Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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