Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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