I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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