He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
