Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
