If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Randomize
