OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
