Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You left your phone here
Wait...
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