His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
