I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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