Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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