Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
