Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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