The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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