What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize