all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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