i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
