I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
high people should be assigned attendants
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
