She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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