Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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