I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
