One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dick very happy bro
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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