Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
