I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
