So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
