I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
