She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
