I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize