I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize